I make stuff on things

My friends!

Apparently some of you were or still are wondering where I was these last few weeks. The answer, of course, is this: on top of hot chicks.

Oh that’s right, I went there.

But seriously. These last few weeks I’ve…. really been on top of hot –

(gets hit with a rubber chicken)

Okay okay, stick to the point, got it.

Here’s an easy way to figure out where I am. There’s seven rules you need to remember:

Rule number one: I’m always at home.

Rule number two: Once every two weeks, I’m at Lochristi, eating Chinese or Greek food with my grandmother and her sister. Why? Hey, who wouldn’t want to dine with a gorgeous guy like me? A fucking idiot, that’s who.

Rules number three through six: see rule number one.

Rule number seven: You do not talk about Fight Club.

So there, ever since I got home from WACKEN OPEN AIR (you can’t just say it, you have to shout it) I’ve been at home. Doing absolutely nothing. I’m sorry I didn’t answer any calls or text messages during the past week but I, in a rare moment of non-awesomeness, lost my cellphone. Fortunately, thanks to a badass guy from Leuven I got it back on Saturday.

I figured I was gonna tell those interested about it at the party Saturday but apparently my long-awaited return wasn’t worth waiting for ’cause pretty much everyone was gone by the time I arrived. Too bad, ’cause I’m not planning to set foot in that café again. The damn place depresses me every fucking time. So the next time you’ll be able so catch me there will be, hopefully, never.

Too much negative energy already so I’m gonna end here. Next time more funny business. Yay!