One Step Closer

I want a balloon.

And now some other stuff. Just got back from the Wacken Open Air metal festival in Germany. It was awesome. Of course it was, I was there. Saw a lot of great bands: Iced Earth, Saxon, Destruction, Die Apokalyptischen Reiter, Rose Tattoo and many more. The weather was too damn hot and I had massive diarrhea, it really was massive, but apart from that I had a great time. Next year, to quote Christian Bale in Terminator, I’ll be back. I don’t wanna quote Schwarzenegger, because he’s crap and Bale isn’t. Fuck you.

In other news, I don’t know what I’m gonna do this year: go to school or find a job. My dad said I had to go work if I didn’t pass this year and since I refuse to take another shot at Spanish, I really really really hate that language, I figured I might start looking for a job for next year. Work in a supermarket or something, a place where they hire poor bastards like me. But now my dad does the same damn thing he did last year: he gives in.

Last year it was the exact same story: if you don’t pass, you work. I didn’t pass, but I was still allowed to do my year again. God knows why, I already hated Spanish back then so it seemed obvious to just try something else instead. But I am a dumb fuck, so I redid my first year and failed Spanish again. Passed everything else pretty easily, even the courses I took in the second year. But that doesn’t really matter, since I didn’t manage to pass fucking Spanish.

Right now I thought it was gonna be the same old situation: if you don’t pass, you work. Which would have been great: I want to work, because right now I’m sick of fucking school. I need to find some lame ass job for this next year and get my head straight. Then maybe the year after I can start at another school, start with a new slate. But no, my dad gives in and goes like ‘You can start at an other school this year if you’re willing to study more’. No work. No getting my head straight. No nothing I had fucking planned in my head. Fucking fuck man.

I don’t know man. Wanted to get a job, maybe get my own studio apartment, just get away from my current life for some time because I really need that right now. But none of that. Stay in school. Don’t get me wrong, I wanna get a Diploma. I just don’t know which one yet. Well, not a degree in Spanish, that’s for sure. Right now, I don’t care for any field of study in particular so I feel that if I try to go to another school right now, I won’t be motivated at all, no matter what I choose. Seriously, one day I want to be a journalist, on other days I want to study anthropology or psychology, sometimes I’d rather go to advanced music school et cetera. I have a very short attention span, I don’t care for anything for an extended period of time. Which is kind a problem when choosing a field of study. Lots of things are interesting yet nothing is.

My dad gave me until the end of the week to decide what to do. He’s really against me looking for a job, which I don’t understand at all since he said I had to get one twice before. Jesus fucking Christ. So I’m gonna look for both some potential jobs and potential fields of studies. Right now you’re probably bored off your ass, shame ’cause I couldn’t give a fuck. I’m off to watch some Family Guy in order to keep my sanity, see you later. Let’s conclude with an osahi’ke.

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”Stick it in
Rip the skin
Carve and twist
Torn flesh
From behind
I cut her crotch
In her ass I stuck my cock
Killing as I cum”

From: Fucked With a Knife by Cannibal Corpse

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Fucking brutal!